unhappy. again dun read if you are in good/bad mood. read when neutral mood

dear blog, not feelin happy these few days coz something happened and i did not like how the matter was being handled by both myself and my fren(s) who promised to help me.


yes i know he (let me call him Z) is busy, but if you are, you can at least reply my sms/msn to let me know tt you are busy so tt i can find other ppl to help me with the project rather den leave my grp members and i hanging, not knowlin if you will really do it for me.

yes, although tdy (5th april wed) you alr draft out say what you want to do for us. but too bad, i alr ask ath person (let me call tt person A) to help me with it alr. even for tt person A, i did not like askin him, coz although he was also one of the 2 ppl who promised to help me, the past few days he put "Busy" mode on his msn.

On Monday (3rd april) morning when Z came online first so i asked Z to help me coz i had a feelin tt A had forgot abt helpin me. so when Z came online b4 A did, i asked Z to help coz i dunno when A will come online. but when A came online, apparantly he also forgot tt he promised to help me last sun (2 april) coz tt time he promise tt he will help me with the codin on MON mornin coz he was busy helpin ath grp. which was fine with me. but on Mon Morning when i see him online, he made no mention and juz sed, "oh, you doin IT izzit? dun bother you liaoz." i was thinkin to myself, did you not promised to help me with the codin part? at least tell me say you cannot do it tdy and tell me when can you do it for me. and not dun mention anything.

i think i dislike most is tt tdy when A came down to explain to my grpmembers the coding he did for us, coz only myself and ath grp member was there, i think i heard A mumbled tt i am the one who did not understand the situation tt Z was in and also sed tt i was being bad for the way i treated Z. i forgot to ask A, "so you think tt not replyin ppl's sms and msn msg is an ok thing to do izzit?" i want to tell A tt if Z had at least juz tell me tt he was busy and tt he was unable to help us, i can move on and ask others to help me. i dun have to ask A or Z to help. but the fact why A finally helped me is also coz i was tellin my grp of frens how they handled things and wat happened and my fren daff helped me to scold (or spoke) to A. they were tellin me tt i was too NICE to them le when i did not pester them to help me. but i mean to me, i was askin more of like beggin ppl to help me, wat gives me the privilage to pester ppl to help me? S***

Actually i alr asked my sch of computing fren to help me and he agreed, but he was busy with his stuff too and the earliest he can meet my grp was only this fri. which by then i'll be too stressed to eat/study/slp. my grp member also stressed me up coz he really behave like he cannot take it anymore of the coding part.

throughout this whole episode, i did not like tt way i handled things. i admit tt by nature i am a panicky person. tt's why i wanted to project to be completed soon coz exams are coming up. and knowing my study style, i cannot settle down and properly study when i still have projects on hand uncompleted. i am not as "Zai" as other ppl who can do minimal studyin and still score good grades. and YES, the project is my grpmats and mine i shld not ask ppl to help. throughout this whole episode i've learnt tt when you ask ppl for help, it's such a dreadful issue. best is to depend on yourself. therefore i've decided to not ask the both of them to help le.

what abt you? do you think tt i could have handled the matter in a better manner? to me i seriously think tt i have did the best tt i can to handle this. but deep down, i dunno how to face both of them coz every time when i see them, i'll think of the way they handled things and i will juz give them a expressionless face.

bottomline: at least tell me a "yes" or "no" so i can plan alternatives and i DO NOT like it when ppl DON"T reply my sms-es with regards to stuff tt requires planning e.g. project work stuff.

and although such a thing happened, i believe they will still behave as they did coz they do not see tt not replyin sms-es is a problem.

FYI: to A when he dunr eply sms-es, it's to show tt he agrees to what tt is being sed in the sms. but how am i to know if he got receive my sms right?

to Z when he is in doubt, he does not reply to sms-es (tt was wat he told me previously b4 this thing happened). which precisely made me panic coz he nv reply my sms tt implies tt he dunno whether or not he can do the job for us! and the reason why i only sms him once is coz i was thinkin if he was busy, i dun want to bother him with my sms-es knowin tt he wun reply.

I HATE HATE HATE!!!!! i am ANGRY! and yet UNHAPPY coz they are fine as frens but not ppl i will ask for help unless totally necessary. and the stupid thing is tt i still have to organize a KTV session with A coz he alr complete the main part of the project for us le.and the KTV session is to repay him. I really want to trash things out with him but i believe from his point of view, he thinks tt he did nothing wrong. so i shall save my mouth water.

when will this feelin subside? really lookin forward to the day i graduate next year so i wun have to face any of them. I WANT TO and WILL GRADUATE!!!!

ath contributing factor why i am super stressed now is also becoz exams are comin up. and although exams are coming up, i have yet to sit down and really do my revision.last year i really PANIC until like siao coz i dunno wat the hell was goin on. but this year although i STILL dunno wat is goin on, i still have not attempted to really sit down and revise. sobz... i'm worried abt my cap...